Others of us tend to move away from what we don't want, trying to avoid the negatives of not having what we want, and thus we are pushed to move or change.

There is no right or wrong here, but rather there is a more useful approach- which is to have both the carrot and the stick. We need a push to get us to move out of our comfort zone, and put in the energy to change, and we need a pull to know the direction we are moving in, which draws us towards it.

Now here is the trick, and it is what I believe makes a huge difference in the clients I coach: It is to make sure you have identified your pull- that you are clear on what you are moving towards.

I have found that we are experts at stating what we don’t want and we tend to language our goals and outcomes in the negative tense- "I don’t want to be so tired", "I hate my job", "I want the arguing with my partner to stop".

That is all well and good, as it is a great push motivation. However, if we don't know what we are moving towards- what we want instead of that - we often just end up staying where we are and moaning about the pain.

Thus it is key to identify what you want. If you don't want XYZ, then what do you want instead? What do you want to positively achieve or experience? And then make sure the language you use is in the positive tense. For example, instead of saying "I want to loose weight" you could say "I want a slim and fit body weighing X kg’s".

This languaging is so useful! From it you can assess where you are in your present situation and then compare it with your desired outcome, which then allows you to see where the gap is.

If you are the kind of person who is very clear on what you want, but still tend to not be motivated enough to reach your outcomes, then you may want to develop your “push” more, noting to yourself what you won’t get if you don’t achieve your outcome, or bringing to your awareness how bad it actually is staying where you are and not making a change.

So, do you have more sticks or carrots in your mind?

To you having a strong push and pull,
Telana

This CD is a tool that can help unleash the creative genius within you! It uses positive statements and affirmations concealed subliminally behind beautiful music. You don’t consciously hear the words, but your powerful subconscious mind picks up the messages, and works on replacing any negative beliefs with the new positive ideas.

I just had a fabulous weekend in Clarens with some close friends, and enjoyed lazing around the house we were staying in, reading, and walking around the mountains in the area. There’s something about good company, intriguing conversations, yummy food, fresh air and mountain views that seems to revitalize me! I’ve come back with some new ideas that I now just need to make some time to get them into practice.

I’ve recently also got back into dancing- and attended quite a few Salsa classes. What fun! I just love being able to let go and trust the lead of my dance partner as he surprises me with turns and dips! I think I surprise him too with my chuckles of delight!

I got lucky too last week and won an iPod through 5fm’s podcast competition- I entered a podcast of my parrot, even though I’m still new to the podcast and movie zone of the internet, and am enjoying learning about it. If you want to see my little video for a laugh go here. I warn you though it's not a professional hot shot podcast ;)

Smiles,
Telana

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Telana Simpson is a Professional Personal and Communication Coach. She is a caring and focused facilitator who has a passion for expression. She helps executives, individuals and entrepreneurs find authentic ways of communicating their inner potentials.