Self esteem, self confidence and the difference
Written by: Paballo Mosiane
I was the notoriously quiet child in preschool. With all the snotty-nosed, dough-eating, hyperactive kids bouncing off the walls all around me, my first attempt at socialising with my peers turned out to be a frightening experience.
My reserved and timid nature saw me through my milk teeth all the way through to puberty. Of course when hormones were added to the mix, it was Armageddon! I found myself choking on the feelings of hopelessness and inadequacy every time I walked down those passageways in high school.
My confidence would improve with time, but I would still find myself contemplating my worth in this world filled with people I loathed because they always looked so ‘well put-together’.
I’ve gone the therapist route (my parents were open to the idea of paying a stranger to exorcise the demons of doubt and self-consciousness out of me), but I still found myself contemplating my value in this world. 20-something years into my life and the universe offers me a chance to learn more about self confidence and self esteem through the Vibrant Life Coaching workshops.
I will admit that the very first time I heard about these workshops, I doubted the impact they would have on me. There are plenty of books and self-proclaimed life coaches out there that try to help people improve their confidence, but they always seem to be the same bullies us introverts run away from. Needless to say, that the very first workshop changed something in me; something unexpectedly huge.
In the first workshop we defined self-esteem and self-confidence and learnt to differentiate between the two. Self-esteem, folks, “is about being – it’s about who we are rather than what we do”. It is meant to be the invariable realisation of your worth and value as a human being.
Recognising that you are worth the air that you breathe in, no matter what you do or possess. Self-confidence, on the other hand, is about what we do (or have). It has to do with the external expressions of the self. Extra brownie points for anyone who can remember that.
Because of this workshop, I have been able to tap into assertiveness reserves that I didn’t know I had. I have found an outlook that helps me understand not only myself, but the world around me as well. I feel a little more accepting of my vulnerability and mishaps which has allowed me some room to explore my strengths and depths of mind. For me, this workshop has revealed and reawakened what psychologists forget to consider and society has long forgotten.
Facilitating the workshop is the ever-so-conversant Vibrant Life Coach, Telana Simpson, whose patient and engaging approach not only helps break down the heavy scientific concepts, but also brings about an air of enlightening energy to the workshop. That’s the thing about a life coach; there isn’t so much of a ‘teacher-student’ relationship as there is an open-engagement atmosphere.
Look, this workshop is not some magic pill; I still do feel self-conscious at times, but the difference is that now I have the tools to work through it. What a fantastic space to be in. I highly recommend it.