In trying to get our message across, we need to not talk so much, and rather listen more.  When we listen to really hear what the other person is saying, we get to know more about their message, and they get to feel heard.

And when the person we are talking to really feels like we are listening, it goes a long way to better understanding and building the relationship.

Fred Kofman shares some key points to keep in mind when listening, specifically to show the person you are listening to that you are indeed interested and focused on them.

His points are:

  • Listen. Unless you really listen, you are lying.
  • Focus. Look at her. Don’t do anything else.
  • Be quiet. Let her finish. Don’t interrupt.
  • Encourage. Nod. Say “Mhmm.” Paraphrase.
  • Summarize. Play back her essential point.
  • Check. Ask her if you got her point, and let her correct you.
  • Validate. Acknowledge she has a point.
  • Inquire. Ask her what she would like from you.

Read the full article about this communication tip  here.