Written by Telana Simpson
How motivated are you to achieving your goals?
In previous articles I spoke of frames of mind and how they relate to communication. Well, these frames of mind also influence how we communicate with ourselves, and thus motivate ourselves.
One particular frame of mind is very much linked to our motivation, and the direction we tend to send our mind and focus our attention.
Towards or Away From?
Some of us have the tendency to move towards what we want, focusing on the benefits and what we will gain by achieving our desire. Our outcome pulls on us.
Others of us tend to move away from what we don’t want, trying to avoid the negatives of not having what we want, and thus we are pushed to move or change.
It’s like the “towards strategy” is the carrot and the “away from strategy” is the stick.
There is no right or wrong here, but rather there is a more useful approach- which is to have both the carrot and the stick.
We need a push to get us to move out of our comfort zone, and put in the energy to change, and we need a pull to know the direction we are moving in, which draws us towards it.
Do you know your pull motivation?
Now here is the trick, and it is what I believe makes a huge difference in the clients I coach: It is to make sure you have identified your pull- that you are clear on what you are moving towards.
I have found that we are experts at stating what we don’t want and we tend to language our goals and outcomes in the negative tense- “I don’t want to be so tired”, “I hate my job”, “I want the arguing with my partner to stop”.
That is all well and good, as it is a great push motivation. However, if we don’t know what we are moving towards- what we want instead of that – we often just end up staying where we are and moaning about the pain.
Thus it is key to identify what you want. If you don’t want XYZ, then what do you want instead? What do you want to positively achieve or experience? And then make sure the language you use is in the positive tense. For example, instead of saying “I want to loose weight” you could say “I want a slim and fit body weighing X kg’s”.
Useful Language Patterns
This languaging is so useful!
From it you can assess where you are in your present situation and then compare it with your desired outcome, which then allows you to see where the gap is.
If you are the kind of person who is very clear on what you want, but still tend to not be motivated enough to reach your outcomes, then you may want to develop your “push” more, noting to yourself what you won’t get if you don’t achieve your outcome, or bringing to your awareness how bad it actually is staying where you are and not making a change.
So, do you have more sticks or carrots in your mind?
To you having a strong push and pull,
Telana
About the Author:
Telana is a dynamic, transformational Personal Coach and Blogger who specializes in communicating and relating. She is fascinated by consciousness evolution and goes on adventures to push her boundaries and preconceptions. She offers coaching and training programmes to help individuals develop their ability to express themselves and their potentials and improve their relationships, and is a host of an online TV show.
Image courtesy of Ambro / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
