Written by Telana Simpson

“If we’re not vocalising what we want, then how sincere are we about what we want?” Philén questioned.

Philén Naidu had learnt the power of his voice and asking for what he wanted during his 5 years walking around deep rural Zambia. He had a question and followed his heart, and found himself on an adventure packed with life lessons and learnings.

“The first step is being clear on what you don’t want. That’s the starting point. Once we’ve made that decision, we know what we are stepping away from” Philén agreed with me. I had mentioned how coaching starts with my clients get very clear on what they don’t want, and then importantly on what they really want.

Author Philen has some useful ideas about asking for what you want“We all have intentions, whether we are aware of them or not. So when we say we don’t know what we want, it just means that we are not aware of it yet, and not that the knowing of what we want doesn’t exist”. Spending the time to ask the question ‘What do I want now?’ helps to expose our truth, and our driving question that is within us.

“It’s listening to my driving question that led me to rural Africa, and to writing my book “My Life My Africa”. I had to first accept where I was in my life, and only then could I take full responsibility for it, and my role in creating my life circumstances that I was experiencing at that point.” From facing our realities, and then being clear on what we want instead, we get to know the gap and can then start asking for help to move forward.


“The power lies in me to make the changes I want to make. It’s so empowering to accept where we are and that it was our past choices (and sometime unconscious choices) that led us to be there. Because then we realize we have full control over creating our next moment, using the power of our voice and asking.”

Philén decided he wanted to write a book about his story, and until he voiced this decision, and started asking for help and investigating how to go about writing and publishing a book, the people who have helped him and the supported him didn’t come into his life.

“If it’s not coming out of your mouth or being written on paper, and it just stays in your head as a nice idea, then it doesn’t exist. It’s all an illusion and it’s not real. When we vocalize our questions we bring them into reality. Now it’s real. Until we speak it we think we are moving forward, but it’s all just in our heads.”

“The moment we vocalize and ask questions around what we want, we’ve given permission to our inner creator to align everything in our favour and things can then start happening. Those questions echo out into the universe and draw energy and other souls to then connect with us. And they are the ones that can help us. Their driving question that they have vocalized allows them to share their gifts and knowledge with us as we need it.”


“Until we ask those questions, others can’t help us. We’ve got to give permission by stating what we want” Philén reinforces. And yet asking for what we truly want creates a lot of fear in us. It puts us in a vulnerable space, where we can be rejected – ridiculed even – and thus we find it so difficult to ask. It also means that we will more than likely get what we asked for, and that process of getting it can be challenging and uncomfortable.

“If you ask for more humility or courage, for example, you will bring into your life lessons that teach you humility, and experiences that will expose your courage, and those paths to get what we asked for can be so challenging.” But so worth it in the end.

“We will be tested for our sincerity in our request for what we want, and if we really want it, we will face those challenges and do what we need to do, to have what we want.” It is ironic how we fear our own power, and so hold ourselves back from having everything we truly want in life.

It is time to face our fears of being successful, and getting what we want, and to start use our own power of creating by voicing our wants and asking for them.


The singer Amanda Palmer has learnt the power of asking. She explains how she gives her music away yet asks for what she needs, and is never left without. To produce her next album, she asked for $100 000 via a crowd funding platform, and her fans gave her over a million dollars. “I didn’t make them, I asked them” she explains. “And through the act of asking people, I connected with them. And when you connect with them, people want to help you.”

Now you have three paths in front of you:

1. The path of loneliness and lack.
This path involves keeping what you want to yourself, and in your head. When we don’t vocalize what we want, we walk alone as we don’t invite anyone into our lives.

2. The path of fear.
When we fear our own vulnerability and the power that lies within it, we just create more fear and walk alone and scared.

3. The path of asking and receiving.
Here we walk with a team. From voicing what we want, and being willing and open to receive it and the help others will offer us in order to get it, we walk with our tribe. We are supported and encouraged. And we get what we ask for.

So, tell me what you want? Connect with me and be open to receiving, and watch what happens…


(Below is the TedTalk where Amanda Palmer shares on the Art of Asking)

About the Author:

Telana is a dynamic, transformational Personal Coach and Blogger who specializes in communicating and relating.  She is fascinated by consciousness evolution and goes on adventures to push her boundaries and preconceptions.  She offers coaching and training programmes to help individuals develop their ability to express themselves and their potentials and is a host of an online TV show.

Want to reprint this article  for your blog or e-zine? You can as long as you post a “written by Telana Simpson” credit, and tell your readers to get our FREE Special Offer at www.innercoaching.co.za. Thanks!