The conversations you avoid don’t disappear. They become regret.

There’s that conversation we keep thinking about.
The one we meant to have, with our boss, our partner, our team.
We’ve played it out in our heads. Rehearsed it in the shower.
And still… we haven’t had it… (yet!)

Maybe, like me, you’re worried you’ll say it wrong. Or it’ll get messy. Or they’ll take it badly.
So, we wait.
And while we wait, it just weighs on us.

Not having the conversation doesn’t make the need for it go away.
It just lingers. Quietly. Heavily. Sometimes for years.

The conversations you avoid don’t vanish. They become regret.

“One day, I just couldn’t hide anymore.”

In one of the most moving interviews (on my podcast Let’s Talk Courageous Communication) I’ve had the honour of holding space for, Dion Johnson (author, master coach, and women’s leadership strategist) shared the moment her avoidance caught up with her.

From childhood, Dion wore literal dark glasses and a prosthetic eye to hide her facial disfigurement. “I call it the beginning of my life behind the mask,” she said. “I was learning, very early, that if there’s something different or not normal about you, you should hide it.”

That hiding, she later realised, wasn’t just about her appearance. It seeped into every part of her life: how she spoke, led, and even who she allowed herself to be.

Despite reaching senior leadership, Dion described the experience you might resonate with to:

“I felt like I had one foot on the gas and one foot on the brake. By most people’s standards I was high-flying. But inside, I wasn’t at peace.”

Eventually, the emotional strain of not showing up fully cracked through.

“I was on the floor, hands in the air, praying.  And I realised the pain in my heart was from hiding. I wasn’t letting people see the real me. I wasn’t speaking up. I wasn’t doing what I was called to do.”

Sound familiar?

Avoidance feels safer… until it starts to hurt more than the truth

In my work, professionals often say things like:

  • “I know I need to say something… but what if it all goes wrong?”
  • “I just want to avoid conflict.”
  • “I’ll wait until it feels easier.”

The problem? It rarely does get easier.

Because the cost of avoiding those conversations is cumulative:
Self-doubt. Resentment. Missed opportunities.
And perhaps the most painful of all: that quiet ache of “I should’ve said something.”

I’ve come to believe that courageous communication is the difference between a life of quiet frustration… and a life of no regrets.

Courage doesn’t mean you’re not scared. It means you speak anyway.

Dion captured this beautifully when she said:

“It’s terrifying! I remember how it felt thinking about letting people see my face. I had to get a coach. I had to explore my fear that people would vomit at the sight of me. But despite feeling that way, I decided: I’m going to find a way for you to see my face… and then to see more of me.”

That’s the work. Not polishing a perfect sentence or waiting to feel ready.
But strengthening the muscle of showing up as yourself, voice and all.

Because what is really going on, is most of us aren’t afraid of confrontation.  We’re afraid of being misunderstood, disliked, or exposed as not enough.

What happens when you stop avoiding and start speaking?

You breathe differently.

Yes, the conversation might still feel uncomfortable.
But you walk away clearer. Lighter. More aligned.

When I ask people why they finally spoke up (even with a shaking voice), they often say the same thing:

“I didn’t want to look back and regret not saying it.”

If you’re reading this and there’s a conversation you know you’ve been avoiding, please hear this:

You don’t need the perfect words. You just need the courage to begin.

You get to choose:

Regret. Or relief.
Silence. Or self-respect.
Avoidance. Or alignment.

Like Dion reminded us:

“There’s just no spare people. If I can show up as the real me, that’s the gift. Authenticity is the biggest thing you can do for the people we share the planet with.”

So…
What’s the one conversation you’ve been avoiding?

And what would it feel like to finally show up, and have it?

Ready to practise that conversation?

This is exactly the kind of moment we rehearse inside my [be brave] coaching journey.
You bring the conversation. I bring the safety, structure, and support to help you say what matters, without the negative spiral.

Because your voice deserves to be heard. And you deserve to walk away proud, not panicked.

Contact me if you’re ready to turn the page and speak with courage.