The moment you choose Growth over Safety, you activate Courage

by Telana Simpson | Courage & Communication Coach

Many of us feel torn between wanting to grow and wanting to stay safe. It’s part of being human. Yet real personal growth (and courageous communication) require us to step beyond what feels comfortable, and familiar. As a courage and communication coach, I often help clients recognise this inner tension between their need for safety and their desire for growth, and learn how to activate courage to move forward.

The inner conflict between Safety and Growth

Have you found yourself going back and forth between wanting to take the leap and do that next big step, yet being so cautious as you know it could hurt you too, so you hesitate, and feel stuck in this battle between these options?

Then you’ve probably also noticed that deep down, we can’t choose both growth and safety at the same time.

Brené Brown is famous for saying this, and she’s right. We all have an innate need for both: the need to feel safe, and the need to grow. Yet, to live and communicate more courageously, we have to decide which one we’ll focus on in each moment.

Because the difference between our fear and our courage is the difference between the smaller, diminished version of ourselves, and the version that is unleashed, boldly growing into our full potential.

Courage plays a pivotal role in our growth and in living wholeheartedly. It’s the spark that allows us to step out of safety and into expansion.

Courage: the catalyst that bridges the gap

An insightful paper I treasure is one by Nelson Gold, who defined courage as “the energizing catalyst for choosing growth over safety needs.”

I love this because it captures exactly what courage does. It fuels us to move beyond what feels comfortable and safe, toward what allows us to thrive.

Within all of us there’s a powerful, natural force in the direction of growth. As Carl Rogers explained, we have an inner desire to actualize, to express, to mature, to activate all of our capacities, both learned and hidden. We want to thrive, not just survive.

And yet, at the same time, we have a strong impulse to stay safe. We need to meet our physical and emotional safety needs, for food, shelter, stability, and belonging. But when that impulse dominates, we can become defensive. We cling to what’s familiar. We fear losing what we’ve gained. We avoid risks, stay small, and hold back.

Maslow, Rogers, and Aristotle on Growth and Courage

Maslow helps us see this tension too. He described how, once our lower needs are met (our safety, love, and esteem) we begin to reach for self-actualization: those needs for growth, creativity, and purpose. But when our safety forces are as strong as our growth forces, a gap appears.

And that’s where courage steps in.

Courage is the leap across that gap. It’s what helps us choose growth over fear: to say yes to that opportunity, to speak up in that meeting, to express an honest truth even when it feels vulnerable.

Aristotle also wrote about courage, describing it as the balance between cowardice and recklessness. Courage, he said, is when a person faces the right thing, for the right reason, in the right way, and at the right time. It’s not blind risk-taking, nor fearful avoidance.  It’s the wise middle ground that allows us to act with heart and awareness.

Choosing courage in everyday life

So, may we find that balance between our need for safety and our desire for growth.
May we keep stretching towards our potential, while trusting our courage to bridge the space between where we are and where we could be.

This week, take a moment to notice:

  • Where are you choosing safety over growth?
  • And what might happen if you chose differently? If you chose courage?

Because the moment you choose growth over safety, you activate the very courage that allows you to become more of who you truly are.

Ready to activate your Courage?

If this idea resonates, explore my [be brave] coaching program — a 3-month journey to help you build the inner courage to grow, speak up, and create a life you love.

To start small, book a Readiness Session — a one-on-one introduction to discover what’s keeping you in safety mode and how to take your next courageous step.

With courage,
Telana