“I feel so emotional, I can’t even speak.”
How often have you had that experience in a meeting or conversation? Your heart races, your chest tightens, your face feels hot. And suddenly, you’re either rambling, frozen, or fighting tears. You tell yourself to “stay calm” but that only seems to make it worse.
If this sounds familiar, you’re not ‘broken’. You’re human. And you can learn to navigate emotions so they don’t hijack your confidence when it matters most.
A while back I had a conversation with spiritual teacher and author Mike George for my podcast, Let’s Talk Courageous Communication, and what he said about emotions made a lasting impression. I want to share some of that with you because it offers a fresh, practical way to understand and work with emotional overwhelm.
Emotions are Signals, not Enemies
Mike put it simply:
“Emotion is always a sign that I’m asleep… I’m attached to something or someone in my consciousness.”
That made me stop and think. Most of us treat emotions like distractions or weaknesses, especially in professional settings. But what if those intense feelings are just signs we’re clinging to something, or reacting based on old patterns?
Let’s take an example.
You’re in a meeting. Someone challenges your idea. Suddenly, you feel a flush of heat and your stomach drops. The story running through your head might be: “They think I’m stupid” or “I have to prove myself.”
But the real problem isn’t the comment. It’s the meaning you’ve attached to it. That’s the attachment Mike’s talking about. It’s an unconscious story about needing approval, or avoiding rejection. And that’s where overwhelm starts.
Why emotions feel so big
From early childhood, we’re taught to confuse emotions with identity. For example, many of us learned that excitement = happiness, or that worry = love. Mike shares this moment from childhood:
“Mom says, ‘You’re ten minutes late. I was so worried!’ And the child hears: Worry means you love me.”
But worry is fear, not love. And excitement isn’t the same as deep joy. These misunderstandings create emotional habits that live in us for decades. Then, in adult life (especially under stress) those old wires get tripped.
So, when your boss frowns or your colleague interrupts you, you’re not just responding to that moment. You’re often reacting to years of unconscious programming.
How to stop emotions from taking over
So, what can we do when those waves of emotion hit, especially in a high-stakes conversation or meeting?
Here are a few practical insights from Mike George that I use in my coaching and personal life:
- Observe, don’t suppress
Trying to suppress emotions backfires. Instead, become curious.
“Every emotion dies under observation,” Mike says.
Next time you’re feeling overwhelmed, silently name it: “I’m noticing anger.” Or “There’s fear here.” Just the act of naming creates a pause between you and the feeling. That pause is power.
- Notice what you’re attached to
Are you seeking approval? Avoiding criticism? Wanting control? Start spotting your inner expectations.
If you’re upset in a meeting, ask: “What story am I telling myself right now?” Usually, it’s about wanting someone to act a certain way. That’s attachment. And that’s where the overwhelm starts.
- Differentiate feeling from emotion
Mike makes a helpful distinction:
- Emotions are agitations. They are disturbances caused by attachment.
- Feelings are perceptions. They are what we pick up from the world, ourselves, or others.
Learning to feel without being emotional is key to courageous communication. You can be deeply in tune with a moment without being hijacked by it.
Why this matters for courageous communication
You can’t lead, inspire, or influence effectively if your voice shuts down in emotional moments. But that doesn’t mean becoming robotic or “emotionless.” It means learning to understand yourself better, so that emotions become signals, not saboteurs.
Mike said something near the end of our conversation that sums it up perfectly:
“Emotions are signals that help us know when we’re falling asleep, so we can try to wake up again.”
Waking up takes practice. And it starts with self-awareness: learning to notice your triggers, loosen your attachments, and bring you into the room, not just your reactions.
One small practice you can start today
Build in 2 – 3 short pauses each day where you simply stop, close your eyes, and observe what you’re feeling. No fixing. Just noticing.
Over time, you’ll notice those emotional storms passing more quickly. You’ll respond instead of react. And you’ll find more courage to say what really matters, without fear taking the mic.
If this resonates with you and you’re on a journey to communicate with more courage and impact, keep exploring these inner skills. They’re not soft skills; they’re power skills.
Let me know if this landed for you. And if you’re curious about the full conversation with Mike George, you can listen here, or on your favourite podcast app:
