What hidden biases are silently shaping the way you speak up at work
(and how do you challenge them)?
This month at my “Coffee Doodle,” we had Vezi Mncwango join us. We had one of those conversations that jumped between rugby (yes, the live game of South Africa beating New Zealand got its airtime), coffee appreciation, and the thought-provoking subject of patriarchy contributing to gender inequality. (Yes, big topics – all of them! 😉)
It reminded me of my podcast interview with Vezi a few years ago, where we spoke about the way our thinking shapes our communication, especially the courage it takes to speak up at work.
Vezi made a distinction I’ll never forget:
“Thinking is processing the data. Cognition is attaching meaning to it.”
That’s where the trouble starts. We don’t just process what’s happening in a meeting or conversation; we attach meaning. And those meanings come through filters, shortcuts, and biases that we don’t always notice.
For professionals who already feel self-conscious, these hidden biases can quietly determine when you freeze, when you downplay your input, or when you avoid speaking up altogether. Let’s look at some of these biases, how they showed up in my conversation with Vezi, and what you can do to challenge them.
The “Pig!” Story: How Filters Work in Real Life
On the podcast, Vezi shared a story that captured this beautifully. A man is driving when someone on the side of the road shouts, “Pig!” The driver gets offended, shouts back, and then immediately crashes into an actual pig standing in the road.
The driver didn’t hear the warning as it was intended. His filters turned it into an insult.
This is how it happens at work too. Someone makes a comment, and instead of hearing it neutrally, you hear a threat. You react (or you shut down) and the chance to contribute is lost.
Bias 1: Confirmation Bias
You expect people won’t value your input, so you interpret every small signal as proof of that. A colleague checks their phone? Confirmation. Someone frowns while you’re speaking? More confirmation.
As Vezi pointed out, our brains look for shortcuts. They grab onto what supports the belief we already carry, even if it’s not accurate.
How to Challenge It: Ask “Where do I get that?”
Vezi often uses this question: Where do you get that? It’s a simple but powerful way to interrupt your own story. The next time you think, They must think my idea is silly, pause and ask, Did they actually say that? Or am I attaching meaning (incorrectly)?
Bias 2: Negativity Bias
Our brains are wired to scan for threats. That means in a meeting you’ll remember the one critical remark and completely miss the three people who nodded in agreement.
I see this often in clients. They’ll replay the one piece of pushback on loop, forgetting that other people supported them.
How to Challenge It: Collect All the Data
Vezi said good decisions need good data. That applies to self-reflection too. After a meeting, write down every reaction you noticed: the positives as well as the negatives. Balance the picture before you draw conclusions.
Bias 3: Anchoring Bias
If the first words you hear are, “I’ve got concerns,” your brain can anchor onto “concerns” and miss everything constructive that follows.
How to Challenge It: Slow Your Thinking
This is where you give yourself permission to pause. Vezi reminded me that courageous communicators balance fast thinking with slow thinking. Take a breath. Let the full message land before reacting.
Bias 4: Groupthink and Belonging Bias
When most of the room nods in agreement, it can feel unsafe to voice something different. Belonging bias pushes us to blend in, even when our contribution would add real value.
Vezi stressed how diversity of thought makes for better decisions. Yet belonging bias often silences the very voices that could help the group.
How to Challenge It: Redefine Belonging
Try reframing belonging. It’s not about agreeing with everyone. It’s about contributing something that strengthens the team. Your difference in opinion might be the missing piece they need.
Bias 5: Framing Bias
Vezi and I spoke about how framing can either trigger conflict or create clarity. If you frame feedback as “You always do this wrong,” you’ll trigger defensiveness. If you frame it as “Here’s how we can improve this together,” you invite collaboration.
How to Challenge It: Choose Forward Frames
Before speaking, ask yourself: How can I frame this so it moves things forward? That simple step can turn a tough conversation into a constructive one.
Where This Leaves Us
Biases are part of being human. They’ll always be there in the background, (like Windows is in your laptop). But once you can spot them, they stop running the show.
Vezi left me with a powerful thought during our conversation: we need to hold each other accountable for the quality of our thinking. That’s what courageous communication comes down to. Not perfect speeches. Not having the loudest voice. But better quality thinking. And then choosing to speak from that place.
And maybe, just maybe, the next time you hear “Pig!” you’ll pause long enough to see the road ahead more clearly.
