Why Identity-Based Habits Succeed Where Resolutions Fail
We can make resolutions any time of the year. But there’s something about the change of year that has us resolving to do things differently in January. We often resolve to eat better, exercise more, work on some aspect of our career development or improve a specific relationship. But as research shows, by February, most of us have forgotten about, or given up on, those resolutions.
So if we really want to change something in our lives, it’s useful to spend a bit of time moving from just a resolution into a well-formed goal that sets us up for becoming the person we say we want to be.
The problem isn’t discipline
That process involves moving a resolution into a specific goal, and usually those goals require us to develop habits around them. The habit may be very specific to achieving the goal, or it may be around the process of achieving the goal. Either way, we have to develop good habits that keep us accountable to working on our goal for the year.
And here’s the thing about habits, as we learn from the brilliant book Atomic Habits and the concept of identity-based habits: when we fail to create new habits that would support the outcome we’re trying to achieve, it’s not because we don’t want it or lack discipline.
It’s because we haven’t connected that goal to who we are. That goal doesn’t ask enough of our identity.
The real question
So the question I should be asking you is not “What do you want to achieve this year?” but “Who do you want to become?”
When we set a goal, we’re usually focused on some end point we’re trying to achieve, some outcome or result we want to experience. The desire and motivation are already there.
What holds people back from actually achieving it is:
- Following through with doing what needs to be done
- Connecting that achievement to their identity: to the person who naturally does these things.
What helps the follow-through is linking the goal to who you’re becoming.
Surface-level goals don’t last
Surface-level goals (where you have a specific outcome you want to achieve) can be achieved. But then they don’t last. Once you’ve got that achievement, it ends.
For example, you might set a goal to cycle a particular race. You do it. And then you never get on the bicycle again. If your real intention was to improve your fitness, that surface-level achievement of cycling one race didn’t create much of a lifestyle change.
But if you take your goal one step further, and this often involves activating your courage, you can shift your identity. You move from “I’m cycling this race this year” to “I am a cyclist.”
That’s when behaviour sticks.
When goals don’t ask enough
I think this is where I slipped up with my courageous goal last year. I set the goal of writing a book. But if I had also claimed the identity – “I am a writer” – and built habits that reinforced that identity, I may have written more.
It may have carried me through the difficult times. Instead, life’s challenges took over, and led me to put the book on the back burner.
This year I’m focusing on the identity change: developing the habit of writing regularly, which proves to me that I am a writer. The book becomes the outcome, not the only marker.
“I should” goals vs. “I choose” goals
There’s a flip side to this. If what you want to develop has a negative identity attached to it, it’s harder to make changes without shifting how you see yourself.
If I keep telling myself “I am not good at writing,” or “I’m such a procrastinator”, I’m less likely to sit down every day and do the work that builds the habit of writing regularly.
“I should” goals come from external pressure or expectations. They don’t connect to our identity. They don’t ask us to become anyone different.
“I choose” goals are different. They require us to step into a new version of ourselves. They ask something of our identity. They activate courage because they challenge who we currently believe we are.
“I am a writer, and I am choosing to write a book this year” feels entirely different from “I should write more often so I can finally get that book written.”
One builds identity. The other builds resentment.
Why one courageous goal creates more momentum
This is why one courageous goal creates more habit momentum than ten safe ones.
Safe goals don’t challenge self-doubt, avoidance, or old patterns. Habits fade because there’s nothing meaningful pulling them forward.
A courageous goal asks you to become someone. It gives your habits something to serve. It connects your daily actions to a deeper identity shift.
When you set a goal that requires you to see yourself differently (to step into being a cyclist, a writer, a leader, a person who speaks up) your habits have meaning. They’re not just tasks on a list. They’re proof that you’re becoming who you say you want to be.
Using the energy of a new year
This time of year, we have the energy of turning time: the change from one year to the next. We can use that energy to reflect on what worked and didn’t work, and how we can become better.
It’s the perfect time to think about the identity you’re building by setting this goal.
For the last few years, I’ve been running my One Courageous Goal challenge at the beginning of the year. It started as something I set for myself, but the more I learned about courage and goal setting, the more the idea developed.
I ask at the beginning of every year: What is that one thing that, if you could achieve it this year, would make all the difference in your life?
And now, inspired by Atomic Habits, I’m adding: Who do you want to become? What type of person naturally does, achieves, and experiences the goal you want to set?
A courageous goal gives habits something to serve
A courageous goal gives your habits something to serve. It connects your daily actions to who you’re becoming, not just what you’re doing.
That’s what we’ll work on together in the Kickstart 2027 workshop in January next year. We’ll choose the goal that actually deserves your effort, the one that asks something of your identity, the one that activates your courage, the one that makes your habits matter.
Because you don’t need ten safe goals. You need one courageous goal and the identity shift to match it.
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